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Imagine you’re at a party. A guy offers you a drink. You say no. He says “Come on, one drink!” You say “no thanks.” Later, he brings you a soda. “I know you said you didn’t want a drink, but I was getting one for myself and you looked thirsty.” For you to refuse at this point makes you the asshole. He’s just being nice, right? Predators use the social contract and our own good hearts and fear of being rude against us. If you drink the drink, you’re teaching him that it just takes a little persistence on his part to overcome your “no.” If you say “Really, I appreciate it, but no thanks” and put the drink down and walk away from it, you’re the one who looks rude in that moment. But the fact is, you didn’t ask for the drink and you don’t want the drink and you don’t have to drink it just to make some guy feel validated.
The art of “no,” continued: Saying no when you’ve already said yes. (via 2ition)
“Why can’t you take no for an answer?” is one of the most powerful questions you can use in a social situation: suddenly, it’s your harasser’s manners on trial, not yours. Say it in the mirror. Say it to assholes. Say it a lot. Feel awesome.
(via roachpatrol)
